Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Chinese New Year for 2011 on the second new moon of the winter solstice is fast approaching. “Kung hei fat choi” Or “Kiong Hee Huat Tsai!”  “Chugoku no Akimashte Omedetou!” (Happy Chinese New Year in Japanese) I’d like to think that Chinese beliefs in astrology and philosophy may be rational. Anyway, they are the eldest civilization in the history of the world. My husband has prominent Asian eyes and is always mistaken to be pure Chinese, but he’s not. He used to greet Chinoy friends “Kung Hei Fat Choi!” through text messaging. Once an elderly Chinese associate replied, “Why, are you Chinese?” Haha! That had stopped his habit and probably was slightly offended. We don’t know, the associate may have awakened on the wrong side of the bed that day. But we always love her, though.

About Chinese New Year, tikoys are given and served while Moon Cake on the other hand is during Moon Cake Festival which is on the tenth day in the tenth month of the lunar calendar. Chinese New Year also means lots of fireworks and noises as well as dragon dances everywhere especially for Chinese entrepreneurs. Fireworks are believed to drive away negative energies and attract good luck and prosperity. There are a lot of Chinese-Filipinos who observe Chinese rituals and make merry during this festive occasion, while there are also many Chinoy personalities and families who do not celebrate this event. Chinese astrology based on the lunar calendar has been very popular even during the early ages. Here is a peak of our Chinese Zodiac as husband and wife born on the year of the pig (1971) and year of the monkey (hubby-1968), taken from a Chinese Astrology Website. as the Chinese Ambassador Liu Jianchao said "Don't be that superstitious. Try to maximize the good side of an animal that gives you confidence and peace of mind."

“The Pigs of the Chinese Zodiac are giving and principled beings without equal. Pigs are very pleasant and have flawless manners and taste. Because they are also perfectionists, they are often wrongly viewed as snobs or as having feelings of superiority. Pigs are sensuous and luxuriant by nature. They love the finer things in life. Pigs care deeply for their friends and family and will go to great extremes to keep them happy and well. Pigs do not see helping others as a duty but as a pleasure.
Pigs are so giving they are actually sad when they have no one to give to. Their need to be magnanimous makes them an easy mark for those who live by the con. Pigs make great friends and lovers. Truly believing there is a higher good in all of us, the Pig will do almost anything to not see the bad qualities in their friends and family members. However, once a Pig feels they have been wronged, they become a force to be reckoned with.
Pigs are curious, intelligent beings. Pigs are sometimes wrongly perceived as being lazy. Their love of family and warm hearts make them wonderful mates.”
 

“The always charming, super-energized Monkey is the partier of the Chinese Zodiac. Monkeys have an insatiable appetite for fun and activity. Having a good time comes very easily for them in any crowd. They are optimistic, witty and blessed with a razor sharp mind. While Monkeys love to be the centre of attention, they are good listeners as well. Their bottomless curiosity ensures they will be knowledgeable on a wide variety of topics. Their intelligence allows them to address complex tasks and situations with ease. Monkeys are show-offs who love nothing more than to bedazzle those around them with their antics.
Most Monkeys do not have a highly developed sense of morality. Indeed, if its fun, they’ll do it. Their primary goal is the pursuit of their own pleasure. Monkeys make pleasurable, exhilarating lovers, but beware of the possibility they will stray. Monkeys will try anything once, and if it is the slightest bit entertaining are sure to try it again.
The Monkey’s self-serving attitude may be trouble for many other Signs of the Zodiac. They are very hedonistic and lacking in self-control. If they cannot find a party they will start their own.”

Heads up mistresses! You’re Walking on the Frying Pan into the F-I-R-E

There is nothing good for a woman hooking up with a married man, regardless of what her initial intentions are (money, position, a father figure for her child, security, companionship, emotional support, etc). Some would blame chemistry between the man and woman. Hell no, it just affects them by chance, and is not out of the ordinary. It is either chemistry hits or it gets missed, and definitely it is powerful. A lot of marriages have been ruined by it. It would be riotous if adults give in to chemistry whenever they feel it. Intense, overwhelming emotions and feelings should not control people. This can be highly detrimental.


Emotional or not, for certain it is not only damaging for the woman, it is for him as well, for his wife, children, possibly his career, among others. It may feel great to have a person so eager to make you his focal point at the moment and some would give support and assistance. But that should make you speculate more about the motives behind that enthusiasm.

Obviously, he is a disturbed and a very deceitful guy. Why would Bill Clinton get impeached if he is trustworthy? The cheating married man is disposed to tell untruths to his wife in the nastiest manner. He may possibly verbalize the most fanciful ideas he has to you, but he is disrespecting and cheating on his wife. What if, you were the one in the wife’s place with children to think of. That definitely, as Ramona in ‘Ramona and Beezus‘ would say, “GUTS!!“ It is inexcusable. If the man’s relationship with his wife is so bad, he should do the decent thing. Maybe get a mutual divorce, give her alimony, support the kids, free his wife to meet better men than he was. Apparently, that man is only egging you on to be deceitful, get laid, be the master of your universe, and bury the proof of the affair to keep himself out of any dilemma and no other individual would be clued in on the reality of his personality defect. Pretty sick, if I may add. It’s an actual indicator of a real life predator. No well-brought-up, caring, considerate man, married or not, will encourage such an unstable and disparaging relationship if he actually cares about the woman. And if you are a woman in quest of a real man, go after the single ones. The world is a big place and there’s the Internet to help you out. If you’re a married woman seeking out revenge and wants a fair dealing from a philandering spouse....pray. Have lots of it. And always choose the right path. You are a defenseless catch for other predators as well, and there’s possibly more severe harm in that course. It is important to live and die with your dignity intact. Just get a divorce and make him pay.

In Dealing with Narcissist Personalities

In dealing with narcissist personalities


Narcissists are not easy to live and work with. They are challenging. Instead of disputing the ideas, understanding them is a more appropriate option, at the same time steering clear of an enabler function that may aggravate his or her symptoms. Even if they can seem charismatic superficially, they make other people become reliant on what they say-so. To work or live with a narcissist can be vary wearisome if limitations are not put in place and emphasized.

Narcissists are irritatingly highly self-absorbed

The word “narcissism” is derived from a Greek mythology personality known as “Narcissus.” He looked into a pool of water and had fallen in love with his own reflection. Narcissists are known to have an unusual fixation and fanatical interest towards only themselves. They are obsessive about their physical looks and have a grandiose view of their personal capabilities, yearning for attention and approval as extremely self-centered individuals.

It is true that any person can possess some narcissistic qualities like egocentricity, being selfish, or argumentative, but that does not make the person a narcissist. A person who has a chronic pattern of unbalanced thinking and behaviors in different situations makes a narcissistic personality disorder.

Signs and causes

Causes could be genetic, environmental, or psychological. They have a blown up feeling of being privileged for various things and entitlement, and assume others to make or give favors on their behalf instead of being concerned about other people. Envy is a frequent indicator for narcissism as these individuals are desirous of the successes of others. They take over conversations and overstress their own attainments and value.

To a personality with narcissism, appearance is more essential than personal qualities like integrity. Overweening with regards to authority and affluence helps to increase his low down self-esteem, not considering if the narcissist is really well-off or is not telling the truth about his economic standing.

In truth, they feel inferior so they build up a superiority complex to contend with feelings of being less compared to others. This frequently involves an overstatement of the narcissist’s personal accomplishments, at the same time as putting down other people perceived as threatening.

Some say, narcissism happens due to a divergence between the person’s ideal self and the actual self. An ideal self involves standards that are laid down by others. This disparity can cause concern, resulting to individuals developing defensive devices to shield their egos.

How to survive

To live or work with a narcissist, one should set boundaries. It is crucial to decide on the extent of approval provided a narcissist and the duration to listen to them talk of solely themselves. For instance, if the person goes beyond a few minutes of hero worshipping self, courteously adjust the topic or make a reason to get out of the exchange.

It is important to avoid disagreements. Do not consider winning an argument with a narcissist personality, you won’t. It will be disastrous. Rather, direct a discussion towards a diplomatic discussion.

The best is to terminate the relationship and knowing when it is time to leave. If a narcissist is a family member and there is no way to end the association, it is important to care for oneself, knowing the narcissistic has a mental disorder and what he says projected to be insensitive and upsetting should not be accepted as a personal attack.

Be wary, they don’t change or become better

Narcissists are charming and can be misleading. Often, they may cater to other people if they have money or power which the narcissist desires. It is not until such time that a narcissist is not able to get what he wants that his real personality is exposed. Regrettably, it is not possible to change a narcissist. Instead of receiving positive criticism, they accept criticism with antagonism and feel betrayed. Those who back them up and give in to their demands only facilitate worsening them. If it is not possible to keep away from relating with a narcissist, just understand them and avoid giving criticisms because this is the only means for people to survive and stay normal around them.